it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Holy sore nipples Batman
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
