Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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