She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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