My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
