So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My vagina just clenched in fear
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
