Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
