I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
