Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
