the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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