i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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