Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
