On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
