Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
