Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
