i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
