You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
