it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
