i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am one with the molecules
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
