why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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