I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
