Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
