I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
