You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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