The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
