This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
