i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
