but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
