a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
