This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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