i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Still dying that you shit outside
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
