Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
