Plan B is the new Plan A
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
