In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
