But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
