We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
