They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
