I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
