I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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