just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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