there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
A bitchslap is in order.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
