omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
