Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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