i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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