I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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