Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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