I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
