Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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