One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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