I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
