please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Randomize
